I am a scale nut. I am on the scale 3 or more times a day. I know what some of you think about that...I love you, but I don't care. : )
I weighed in this morning 280.2. .4 less than last week, but up 1.2 from the lowest numbers I have seen this week. A loss is a loss is a loss is a loss.
Truth is...I just did not have the fire in my belly for it this week. That's a horrible thing to say, but it's true. I can't figure out how to destroy the voice in my head that sees a 4.2 loss, like last week and doesn't already start jumping ahead to like June or July and say things like, "Well, at this rate I could be 240 or less by then." The part of me that looks past the 6 months it took me to get here and expects that because it is FINALLY clicking with me, I should be on the fast track. That is how we get lost on this journey. The expectation gets the better of us, the train loses steam, and we start jumping ahead. I know for me, getting started on this journey was delayed time and time again because it felt like such an insurmountable feat. I took the first step, and then the second and I am now nearly 30 lbs down. I had twists and turns in the road that led me astray for a bit, but I stayed on the path and I am having success. Why in the world am I adding the pressure to it? I am pressured enough by outside forces, work, being a mom.
This past week, I didn't work out like I should, I had a horrible food day that was under calories, but included no food that was healthy fuel for my body. Then I had another bad food day on Friday, followed by being sick yesterday which left me sleeping majority of the day and eating poorly.
Yes, I have a loss this week, but I feel like I didn't earn it. This week will be different. I will earn it, whether it's .4lbs or 4 lbs. I will earn it and I will own it.
I weighed in this morning 280.2. .4 less than last week, but up 1.2 from the lowest numbers I have seen this week. A loss is a loss is a loss is a loss.
Truth is...I just did not have the fire in my belly for it this week. That's a horrible thing to say, but it's true. I can't figure out how to destroy the voice in my head that sees a 4.2 loss, like last week and doesn't already start jumping ahead to like June or July and say things like, "Well, at this rate I could be 240 or less by then." The part of me that looks past the 6 months it took me to get here and expects that because it is FINALLY clicking with me, I should be on the fast track. That is how we get lost on this journey. The expectation gets the better of us, the train loses steam, and we start jumping ahead. I know for me, getting started on this journey was delayed time and time again because it felt like such an insurmountable feat. I took the first step, and then the second and I am now nearly 30 lbs down. I had twists and turns in the road that led me astray for a bit, but I stayed on the path and I am having success. Why in the world am I adding the pressure to it? I am pressured enough by outside forces, work, being a mom.
This past week, I didn't work out like I should, I had a horrible food day that was under calories, but included no food that was healthy fuel for my body. Then I had another bad food day on Friday, followed by being sick yesterday which left me sleeping majority of the day and eating poorly.
Yes, I have a loss this week, but I feel like I didn't earn it. This week will be different. I will earn it, whether it's .4lbs or 4 lbs. I will earn it and I will own it.
I totally understand that feeling of wanting to be less IMMEDIATELY - I find I notice every pound all over my body in a way I never did before and I want it GONE. it will be gone, we just got to keep on going.
ReplyDeleteI, like you, don't do what others say is right on the scales either - I never go near one - BUT you got to do what's right for you and what works for you ...and we will celebrate it with you. Nice that we are all the same in wanting to lose weight but all so different in what works for us
Great motivation, earn a lovely week next week
Dawn
I think you are doing great on your journey. It is really hard to stay on track, when we stray the best thing we can do is move past it and jump back on path. I haven't been as dedicated as I should be, but I won't let it get me down. All I can do is my best. I am a scale junkie too, no matter how discouraging it may be at times, I also use it to motivate me. I will make better choices for lunch, Friday was a bad idea!
ReplyDeleteThis post is just. how. I. feel. I get you! I totally understand. :)
ReplyDeleteHave you ever thought, just for fun, to weigh-in every, single hour and keep a chart of everything the scale says and then posting it in a blog to show everyone how crazy the jumps/dips are?
Hang in there, sweetie. We're all in this together. We'll all lose and feel great in the end (no matter how long that takes). :)
I am the exact same way with weighing myself every day, if not multiple times a day. I know some people have strong feelings against that but whatever. So far it is only helping to push me rather than making me give up or feel discouraged, so I'm fine with it.
ReplyDeleteAnd a loss is a loss, if you only lost .4 this week, I am SURE you will have a big loss this week.