Thanks so much for the out pouring of love and support with my last post. You guys are AWESOME. A lot of you really grabbed on to my "being overly sensitive". It seemed to have struck a nerve with some of you. It really made me think.
Darla said "Never apologize for being the real you. That's the you I like. I wish I could cuddle the little girl in you and make it all better. And I bet you're not "overly sensitive." That is usually a technique that people or bullies use to allow themselves to behave badly"
This really struck a chord with me. Especially since the bully in this scenario is me. I am the one who invalidates my feelings. I am the one who feels these things soo deeply and then I tell myself I have no right to feel them. I can't catch a break and I won't give myself one either. I am surrounded by loving and supportive people who aren't perfect (just like me). I can love them and appreciate them for who they are and give them a shoulder, a kind word, the shirt off my back....but I feel bad letting myself feel anything like anger or hurt. If I am hurt...I must've created the situation. How effed up is that?
On an up note...I ended up playing an hour of Just Dance 2 yesterday 30 minutes with my oldest and 30 minutes by myself (after she went to bed). I caught the hubby peeking through the crack between the frame and the door. He laughed and said that it looked like I was having a good time. I REALLY WAS. I have to admit....I was ALWAYS a real "In The Groove" fan (like Dance, Dance, Revolution, but with better music and graphics). Even at 308 lbs. I would take on the young kids at the arcade. I am actually fairly good at the lower to medium levels and even on some advanced songs, I can still hang . Just Dance is considerably different because it involves a total body workout which according to my fitbit is a fairly good workout!
Foodwise, I am on the right track. I really feel together. My history would predict that it means I am on the brink of losing sight of my goals and living in dietary "anything goes-land", but the difference today is that I am actually paying attention to my history and triggers. I am more determined than ever to achieve this goal for me.
Don't forget....Tomorrow..12:00pm Central is the deadline for posting your comments to my 100th post