Monday, January 9, 2012

Things I HATE About People

Ok, PEOPLE is a pretty broad term and to be honest...if this list were really about all would be pretty detailed, less of a blogpost, and more of a series of blogposts.  Or...a blog all in itself.

This is just about people when it comes to weight loss and more specifically MY weight loss or journey thereof...

To be fair, I am going to tell you straight out of the gate that I am guilty of some of these things.  After all...I'm a people too!

People who tell you the "BEST WAY" to lose weight.
 The problem I see with most of these people in my life is that they are always standing by and waiting to tell me that the best way is this new gimmick diet that someone who they know has a brother whose wife has an uncle whose cousin lost a lot of weight eating nothing but pickles and beer after 3pm. (This is not a real diet) (I hope).  The fact of the matter is that we all already know the best way to lose weight is to decrease calories, make healthier choices, and work your ass off.  The pickle and beer diet is only good for finding yourself drunk in an alley stinking of beer and vinegar.  Not Good.

People who try to push you to weight loss surgery.
For those of you who are in an overweight or a "low" obese may not see this one enough to get where I am coming from, but for a person who is 5'1" and 300lbs wearing her "sarcophagus" like a crown...I see this one more than I can stand.  In one breath the person will be talking about my strength and determination.  How they know that I am capable of soo many things and then they suggest that I lop off half my stomach if I really want a shot at losing weight. I totally believe all the things you said about me before that (please note sarcasm).  Not only do you people piss me off, but when I lose this weight through sheer will and determination...I will find you.  I will have had less cookies by that time, so my mood will be questionable.

People who suggest that weight loss surgery is the "easy road".
Please note my above passage.  I never said that I thought it was easy...I said that it is not for me and I hate when people assume that I can't do it without the help of surgeon and scalpel.  I personally have checked it out.  I have sat through seminars that have discussed all the options.  I have talked to doctors, I have set appointments, but in the end I don't believe it is the right step for me.  In fact...I think it may be harder than what I am doing now. My weight gain is a product of an emotional disorder.  Creating "Frankenstomach" or naming it "Carrie Bradshaw" and dressing it in a fashionable "belt" doesn't fix that for me.  I fail on this plan, but if I fail on that plan...I could die.  Literally die.  I refuse to let my tombstone say "Here lies Christie" followed by "Those damned mashed potatoes"  If I eat them now...I regret it.  I can LIVE with regret and move on.

People who fail to recognize ANY obesity as an eating disorder.
I believe that all eating disorders are emotional disorders.  If I binge eat...its for the same reason that someone who is bulemic binge eats.  I just HATE throwing up.  I have the same body issues as a person who is anorexic, but starving myself to get the result they get will take time and unless you are a newcomer to this blog, you know that I have issues with follow through. (I am not condoning any of these disorders as a legitimate way of losing weight, but merely saying I can relate).  I have an effed up relationship with my mom, I have an effed up relationship with my dad, I have an effed up relationship with my sisters, why should my relationship with food be any less effed up.  I don't know one person who is overweight who thought,  "Gee...I have nothing else to do today, why not make everything in my life HARDER"  

People who think they can change a person by pointing out that they are fat.
They already know, thanks for pointing it out, Captain Obvious.  Have you seen the sky today...its blue.  People know they are fat. This is not an appropriate way to handle any situation.  If you think it is, consider this is probably the reason that you do not have many friends.  Pointing out someone's flaws or hurdles that they have to jump is not the best way to get them motivated to change themselves.  Listen can not motivate anyone to do anything.  The motivation has to come from within.  If you care about someone and you have the type of relationship where you can have those kinds of conversations, then tell them that you are concerned, reassure them that you care about them and offer to support them if they decide to do something about it.  Even Biggest Loser trainer, Bob Harper relayed a story about his own sister and how he reaches all these people, but he just can't reach her.  He can only be her brother...not her salvation.  Remember, just because you are ready for them to make a change, doesn't mean they are.  If you care for someone, you care for them no matter what.  There is your free "Life Lesson" for the day, courtesy of me.

Food and/or workout judges
This is not the first time I have talked about food judges, but I find myself wanting to do this more and more.  I guess it may be because I am finding success with what I am eating and I want to share my success, but being a victim of it.  I know there is a right way and a definitive wrong way. 
I try to NEVER randomly judge food on someone else's plate, but in all happens.  Just the other day, I was in a restaurant with a friend and she had  Bread...lots of bread.  Cheese and Potato Soup.  Chicken Tenders, a baked potato, all melty with butter and sour cream. (lo I have to admit.  I saw her, I saw what she was eating and I thought, "remember when...." (mostly I was  I did have a twinge of sadness for her, because I was transferring feelings about myself onto her. NEVER EVER EVER, did I think about saying anything.  It is not my place.  If she had asked me for tips,  about my weight loss journey, or to analyze her food then I would have gladly suggested swaps and told her what I find is the best way to make changes without feeling like I'm cheating myself.  But she didn't so I sat silent.  The point is that all people are not armed with the knowledge that you have and your knowledge is limited by your experience.  If your knowledge is welcomed then share it.  If you are not sure...say nothing until you are.  Change is a delicate process in the fabric of one's life.  Don't pull the loose string that causes it to unravel.  Same for working out.  Sometimes people are doing all they can do.  It may be the first time they have made it to the gym.  If  you see them struggling and you start thinking negative thoughts, then you need to rearrange your thinking.  At least they are there making an effort. 

The point is...become a support to those who are trying (even if you see the flaws in their thinking), life has enough road blocks that there doesn't need to be another you-shaped one in their path.

Today's spark: Kicking my roadblocks in the peas!


  1. I'm with you on the weight loss surgeries - I've witnessed friends that had the surgery done and it was truly a "last chance do or die" effort because nothing had worked in the past. The recoveries are rough and there have been people whose digestive systems begin malfunctioning after those surgeries. I'd rather take my chances with diet and exercise regiment than a weight loss surgery (in my opinion).

  2. I wouldn't do weight loss surgery - but admire those who do...whatever you need to do for you is fine by me. I'm scared of it, scared of something going wrong for me personally and scared my ability to eat like a normal person would be gone for ever. I do still dream that one day I could be slim and eat normally and enjoy foods, then be careful so it doesn't lead to a gain. I still hope that isnt a stupid dream. I too hate anyone judging me and the way I choose to do this. I think the best advice I have is to find what works for you and stick to it. None of it is easy is it, and support and encouragement helps so very much

  3. People who tell you the best way to lose weight are the same people that tell you the only good kind of car is brand X, or the only team with any good players is Y, or the best university is Z. Closed minded. Those of us here that are ohhh sooo much wiser... hee hee, know that the best is whatever is the best for us.
    I agree surgery works, for some people. For some people it doesn't and for some people it kills them. Again, whatever is right for each person.
    Hang in there Christie. I always like to consider the source when people say dumb stuff that they really should STHU about. These are the same people that will tell you a bunch of other dumb stuff too. Grain of
    You are making good choices, you are aware, and you have desire. You will get there!

  4. I love you~~~You go girl!!
    Love Yvonne

  5. First of all I would like to point out two things, not all obesity is an saying disorder, sometimes there are health issues that cause weight gain and swelling. Secondly, sometimes obesity is an issue of not eating, I know fot fact if I ate more, i would lose and maintain loss, I just Can't. FIANLLY People who assume, judge or "try to help" usually suck. I will say I am seriously condidering surgery, the way I look at it I has e nothing more to lose that way than I do if I stay fat. Not sure why bit the word obese bothers me more than fat

  6. To Guinea Pig, if you know for a fact that eating more would cause you to lose an maintain weight loss, how would surgery help you? Wouldn't that cause you to eat less, not more?

    I'm not trying to argue, I honestly do not understand your comment.

  7. I am not saying that not eating enough is my only issue. It is one of many that I have. I did not get fat from not eating. I have tried many things to lose weight including eating six times a day and consistant exercise (which had been the most successful) and the most I have lost is 14lbs in a year. I can maintain loss. I can honestly say I havnt, to my knowledge, put on a lb in two years. I also know that surgery will not make me thin, but I have PCOD or PCOS whatever the Dr calls it this week and it makes losing extra difficult, and I feel the surgery will give me the edge, that after recovering, my previous diet and exercise plan might just work.