Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I Am My Own Worst Enemy (DUH!)

I don't know that I ever recall a time when the evil food voices were so loud and commanding.
I woke up this morning, got my kiddo ready for school.  Made a healthy breakfast of Egg White & Veggie "Mc" Muffin and choice of fruit.  I chose banana.  I was full.  Not giving a thought to eating or cheating off my meal plan.  Hubby took my youngest to the sitter so that I could meet a friend for lunch and there it was...

"You need a Whopper."  hmmm...that was weird.  I don't even really like Burger King. "You need a breakfast sandwich from Hardees" sure don't I just ate breakfast.

I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I was actually going OUT to eat since re-starting my plan, but it was getting a little relentless.

"I wonder if there is any Halloween or Christmas candy laying around." 

Ok...I have got to get out of this house before I do something stupid.  Then I did something stupid.  I sat down in my living room and watched last night's Teen Mom 2, just because. 

As I got up to get ready for my "lunch date", the voices got more aggressive.  "You one will know if you just stop and grab some fries on the way to your lunch."   WTH?  For real.  I am not going to say that I have NEVER had thoughts like this before or that in my lowest of lows I didn't act on some of those voices before, but I am not feeling low.  I am on plan.  Scale is moving in the right direction. 

Granted at this point I am feeling famished, but I persevered and did not give into it.

I made it to lunch with my friend.  We met at a local mall.  At first we had discussed meeting some place that had healthier options, but I told myself that I could handle it.  Food is a fuel source...I can make relevant and healthy choices no matter where I am.  With that thought in mind, we head off to Max and Erma's.
At first I am a little scared.  It's kind of a pub atmosphere.  I open the menu and I have to be is a little scary when you are looking for healthy and a loaded burger is healthier for you than any of the salad offerings.  I move to soup.  They have a tortilla soup.  Do I like Tortilla soup?  I don't know...I just don't know.

I decide that I am going to look through the burgers and sandwiches.  The burgers are 10oz.  Sheesh...10oz.  I spy the Tomato Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich.  It comes with greens and a light vinegar dressing.  I feel safe with this decision.  I order.

Catching up with my friend was great.  He is funny.  We are funny together.  I wish we had lunch alone, though.  Well...I'm sure he thought we were alone, but in my head I heard.  "If you don't like that can always stop on the way home."  "You should have gotten something with fries, but there's plenty of places with fries on the way home."

The salad was really good, the sandwich tasty and satisfying (though I did remove half of the cheese).
When lunch was over, we walked around the mall and talked a bit before we went our separate ways.  Except for the damned voice.  It stayed with me as I walked past Auntie Anne's pretzels.  Prodded me as I slipped past Red Mango Frozen Yogurt.  I drove away.

It was still with me as I drove past Sonic and it softly reminded me that it was Happy Hour and it would do no harm to turn around, go back and order a Large Sprite Zero with Lo-Cal Diet Cherry.  I ignored it.

At every turn.

I argued with it.  I fought with it. I picked up my daughter and finally made it home.

I ate dinner and survived the day with 1391 calories and 120oz of water.  The only exercise I really did today was walking around the mall.  Tomorrow will be better.

Today's Spark: I can win against myself!

Read this post by FattyBoobaLatty.  The most genius thing I have read recently! 


  1. Most excellent :) and for future blogging, lets call "the voices" your staff it sounds much less menacing and you appear to run a department of so sort. <(^^,)>

  2. Love it! I can say with all honesty I am happy that the staff went home for the day! :)

  3. OMGosh those voices!! Drive me crazy. I have often thought if I could have the laser like focus in other areas of my life that "my staff" (hee hee, love it)has when yapping in my head I could have found a freakin' cure for cancer by now!!
    Great job on taking control and letting them know that you are the boss, and as in any employee/employer relationship, you have the last say.
    I sometimes tell them that if I really wanted whatever it is they are yippin' about I would have it, and some day, maybe tomorrow, I will have it again, but it is not in my best interest to have it at this time. Somehow letting them know that if I, underline I, wanted it, I would and could have it takes the wind out of their sails. This is kind of the theory behind this great 'one day diet' I talked about on my

  4. Ohhh I get the staff as well! Not quite as bad as they used to be but they are still around. GRRR Good job!!