Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Camaraderie Of Fat

I talked about it a little bit on my New Year's Eve post, but for its for real, yo. 

Before I get into it...I need to take care of housekeeping items.

Things are looking up! In my email today I received notification that a Prince in Nigeria has left me One million dollars and in order to get it I only have to send them 1,000.00 to do all the processing so...I  have to run to the bank today ;).

On a serious note, I have a second phone interview for a job.  I am hopeful!  If it is God's plan...it will be so...if not...I'll try to remind myself to be strong, keep looking, and not fall into the pits of despair.  Who I am kidding?  In situations like this I am less likely to have fallen into the pit and more likely to have gone to Lowe's purchased a shovel and dug the freaking pit myself.  So...no shopping trips for me today!!!

I am also excited to announce that within the next week or so, I will be reaching another blogging milestone....my 200th post.  I  plan to have a giveaway and I am currently awaiting the EXCITING package so that I can describe it in greater detail, but as a Biggest Loser fan (and dreamer)  I am pumped about it.  I will probably follow the rules of my 100th post, but I'll announce the details as it gets closer.

Onto today's topic.

I am a writer by nature.  I'm a verbalist.  I love language, sharing and expressing ideas.  These are things that you don't know about me unless you ask or I volunteer the information.  If you have a similar drive or aspiration then that may be a basis for further discussion on the matter.  Writing is just an example.  Remove it from the above sentence and insert your passion and I am sure you can relate. Call it the "Camaraderie of Like Minds".

The "Camaraderie of Fat"is very different.  I mean, you don't really have to tell someone you're fat and you can pretty much determine visually whether or not someone else falls into the same category.  It does not however mean that you can tell what space that person is in. 

Rules of polite society (by Christie) then dictate that you do not engage that person in conversation about their weight.  Doing so is a violation and is subject to my mind's eye viewing all the ways to torture you. (I am not above water boarding for fun) 
Instead, I like to control interactions about my weight.  I say public things like "I'm a big girl, but..." or "There's no denying I'm fat" (cue holding hands about a foot out further than my actual hip size). These are allowances for me to talk about my weight..not an invitation for you to join the conversation. 

There are sometimes, however, very infrequent, when I may break down emotionally, or be honest and true with someone and then they are invited to be part of the conversation. I take support very well. I appreciate honesty. I don't even mind questions.  If you are rude.  I will SHUT YOU THE EFF DOWN.  I admit, at first, it can be a bit like walking through a mine field.

These rules are the same for everyone.  Everyone.  Even if you are fat.  Even if you are fatter than me.  (Because we fatties know our place on the "hierarchy of fat" which is normally determined with yourself as the median on the scale.)  I'm not saying it is right.  I am just saying it is true.

As I said...the rules are not different if you are fat. If you don't know where I am with this shell that I have put up around me...Never, never, never put me in your boat. (NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER)  Don't ever tell me where you have put me on your personal "hierarchy" and don't ever say to me that someone else is 'like us'. 

The point is that you need to be invited into my "fat space".  Don't ever assume that because I am fat and you are fat, that we are the same.  If we have similar experiences or feelings that you have uncovered because I have shared them with you then by all means use 'like us' all day. If you are reading this, you are obviously invited.

I thought my fat shell was pretty thick and armadillo like, (I mean...I do this here, right?) but I found out in the middle of a conversation like described that I was surprisingly offended.  I found that I was not as cool with it as I would've thought I'd be.  I fought my desire (and won) to tell said person exactly how I was not like them.  I wanted to tell them that IT IS NOT TOO LATE FOR ME.  I CAN TURN THIS AROUND.  I AM MAKING STRIDES.  I wanted to SCREAM and YOU'RE NOT. 

There is still hope for me.  There is still hope for you.  It takes hard work, determination, and effort.  I'm willing to do it...are you?

Today's Spark:  There will NEVER be a 'like us', gotcha?


  1. I get this. I have a fat friend. We rarely discuss the fact as she is often rude and I get hurt. She used to point out oh too often how I was SO much fatter than she is. Now she seems to revisit the fact I have dieted and gained weight again in the past and in her opinion will gain again anytime soon. I don't like to talk about my weight to anyone yet I do here. Do you think we are insulated somehow from the hurt? I don't know the answer. I do know I am anything but thick skinned about my weight and very very sensitive about it. I would hate ever to hurt anyone's feeling and will think in case I ever refer to other people like you describe.
    I all with you on wanting to fight and be determined to change. 200 posts is great news! well done you!

  2. AHAHAHAHA, funny post, but not so funny topic-SO TRUE!!! Invariably, people who do this to me are always quite a bit larger (read: in the morbidly obese BMI range), and I am merely 'overweight' thank god and lots of hard work...everytime someone puts me in the 'us' I fall back into my old way of thinking and want to go cry in the bathroom stall... Unless we are both filthy rich, I never want to be in an 'us' with anyone else but my husband, thanks very much!!! ;-)

  3. Hey Christie,
    I'm curious what transpired to prompt this post?
    I'm also curious if I have stepped into the 'like us' when I shouldn't have? You said if we are reading, we are invited, but you also said there will never be a 'like us.' So I guess what I'm saying is I hope you know, and everyone knows, (but of course you and they couldn't,) that I never mean to offend, here or anywhere. It just isn't my nature. That is not to say I haven't at times felt my one foot in my mouth was lonely, so I thought I'd stick the other in for company. lol, I admit it, but I can say with a clear conscience I have never done it intentionally.
    I actually read your post last night, had to ruminate on it for awhile, then re-read it again this morning. It made me think, that's for sure.