Sunday, August 7, 2011

S & G's

I have been thinking a lot about posting.  The only reason that I am actually doing it today is thanks to Chubby McGee.  She let me know that she missed me on a comment and so well, I am going to stop over thinking and just post.  My last several posts have really said nothing about weight loss and that's because well...I haven't lost any weight.  I weighed in this morning at 280.  I couldn't even muster apathy...just to be honest.

Listen guys...those of you who are working hard and getting this thing done.  I admire you in so many ways.  Going through this "low period" has left me questioning what I am missing that you have, that keeps you going?  My inadequacy is kicking hard core lately and well, guess who is in their own way again...

I am putting myself out there though...in ways that I really can't discuss right now.  Not because I can't, but because I am choosing to take a leap of faith and go blindly into an opportunity that could be a game changer not only for me, but for my whole family.  If it works out...you'll know and if it doesn't...lol  you'll know.

This week is a real opportunity for me to take control.  My kids are visiting my dad and step mom, so it's just me and Jim this week.  Believe me...this week will be about me hardcore.  I will not squander even a minute, well going forward anyway because I definitely squandered about 3 hours last night watching Jerry Maguire on Bravo!  Despite all it's charm it failed to "Show Me The Money" and I am feeling less than "completed".

For some reason this morning, I can not get that Eddie Money song out of my head...it's like on a loop with "I wanna go back and do it all over, but I can't go back I know."  Sitting here and thinking about the lyrics I mean it's so basic on just a human level you know.  Donald Trump probably has those moments.  At the same time, it feels like a waste to even discuss it.  My uncle, who is known for his socially appropriate comments used to say "Want in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets full faster"  Believe me...my life is full.

Despite this post.  I want you all to know that I am NOT giving up.  I started this thing two years ago.  I wanted to be successful with it.  Ups and Downs aside, I am only actually down 7 lbs from when I started.  Yeah I'm still down 28lbs from 308, but going waay back.  I didn't start at 308, so where's the disconnect?

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