Thursday, August 11, 2011

Expect the Unexpected!

In my life...this statement...um...wow!

I didn't expect that my mom would divorce my dad and I would see him once a year or so for the rest of my life.

I didn't expect that I would come home from being sent to visit my mom's friend on vacation and find out that my mom was getting married the NEXT day.

I didn't expect that her husband would abuse my sisters and I.

I definitely never expected that someone could hate fat kids as much as he did or to lose 75 lbs. in less than a year.

I never expected to know what it felt like to be dangling in the air by a grown man's fingers holding me at the jaw.

I didn't expect to know what it feels like to cry so hard that no sound comes out.

I didn't expect that she would leave him.

He didn't expect that I (12 years old) would pick up the crutches that he had been poking me in the side with for weeks and bash them across his knees that were recovering from surgery.  (Most liberating experience of my life to date) (as wrong as it may be) (Call it my Thelma and Louise moment)

I didn't expect that I would be pulled away from everything I ever knew and be forced to live in a rural area surrounded by child molesters that forced me to stay inside the house behind locked doors for over a year.

I didn't expect to survive high school.

I didn't expect to be afraid of leaving my sisters behind for college. I definitely never expected that I would never go.

I didn't expect to fall in love with the dishwasher with the spiral permed mullet.  **I don't think my boyfriend expected it either. :)~ **

I didn't expect that he would ask me to move away with him and I definitely NEVER saw it coming when he broke up with me at our going away party.

I didn't expect it to hurt sooo much.

I didn't expect that some people don't have good intentions (a lot of bad can be forgiven if you think they do.)

I didn't expect that my mom knew what she was talking about with the next boyfriend.  I didn't expect for her to kick me out.

I didn't expect to end up living in my car with two other people.

I didn't expect to steal gas station hot dogs for food (let alone steal at all).

I NEVER expected that someone would shoplift a python for S&G's and then ask me if it could stay in the car with us.

I didn't expect that he would go to prison. (but mommy did...lol)

I  didn't expect my mom to forgive me.

I didn't expect for mullet boy to move back.

I didn't expect to still love him soo much.

I didn't expect to be at work and find out from someone else that my mom got married just an hour or so before.

I didn't expect to follow the spiral curls to Louisiana to follow his dreams.

I didn't expect that it would mean I would be living in a rural roach infested trailer with no car, no friends, no phone.

I  didn't expect the random day we would pack everything up and move back home on a moments notice.

I didn't expect that we would be married.

I didn't expect that my dreams would never be important.

I didn't expect that I would ever get pregnant.

I didn't expect the two little lights in my life.

I didn't expect the alcoholism (even though the signs were there)

Some days...I didn't expect to make it through.

I didn't expect to know what it feels like to be over 300 lbs.

I didn't expect to ever lose any weight (let alone nearly 30 lbs)

I didn't expect to lose my job of 8 years.

I didn't expect to have a hard time finding another.

I didn't expect to say "The Biggest Loser" without immediately craving a foot long coney dog, let alone attending a casting or making a casting video.

I didn't expect to want it sooo much.

I didn't expect to tell you.

I don't expect to be chosen, but with the list above and knowing what I left out for the sake of brevity :)...I know to EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.

**to clarify I am auditioning...not selected (at this point).

3 comments:

  1. So wait...what? Did you get chosen to be on Biggest Loser? Is that what you're saying?!

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  2. YAY!!!! I'm so excited for you. I know we've discussed this privately (briefly), and that I've said it before, but I so hope that you get picked - I think it would be an excellent opportunity for you! Much love, my long lost relative! ;) Keep us posted!

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  3. I would love it if you got chosen, I would follow your story and cheer you along and care that one day you will make it as a dieting success story and be proud of all your achievements and write comments whenever I can to encourage and support.

    if you DON'T get chosen however, you know what I will do?

    I will follow your story and cheer you along and care that one day you make it as a dieting success story and be proud of all your achievements and write comments whenever I can to encourage and support.
    ( I hope you DO get chosen though)
    Dawn

    ReplyDelete