Welcome to another episode of my life. It has never been nominated for an Emmy (unfortunately the acting is just ok ), but it can still be a wildly entertaining dramedy. I am kind of in a weird place today because I spent a lot of my morning catching up on my blog readings and they always make me think. Some have wavered this week, but are back on plan. Some are on a positive track forward ( I count myself among those this week). Some are busy deflecting (no names). I personally, do not have a problem with people deflecting on their blogs because it kind of clues me in that something may not be going 100% in the right direction, but the fact that they are keeping up with updates lets me know that they want to keep traveling on the path. Face it...we've all been there.
I am doing really well with the fitbit. I like it. Well, so far. There is one little glitch that bothers me. It does an automatic update any time you are within 15 feet of the base, but only if you are logged into the internet. As I have mentioned many times that much to my chagrin, I live rurally, the only way to have HIGH SPEED internet is through an air card. I am convinced that somewhere there is a hamster running on a wheel and when he quits...my internet goes down. (hmmm...if the internet could be powered by my treadmill, would I run more?) So in order to get it to sync I have to power down the entire computer and restart ..ugh. At this point though, it is really a small price to pay for data, data, and more data.
I haven't been talking about it, but I am still training for the Komen. It is turning out to be a much bigger task than I thought. I have seen no real progression in times and I HAVE been trying. I am able to stay at a higher walking pace for longer periods of time, but the running is increasingly more difficult. I looked at C25K for treadmill and I physically can not run as many times as required in 30 minutes and the recovery times in between are nowhere near long enough. I have decided to just plug away at it and try the program again in about three weeks. Maybe by then I will have crossed a big enough weight hurdle to see an improvement. I took a sneak peek and the scale now seems to be moving in the right direction.
Valentine's Day...ugh! Honestly people, Disney and childhood ruined everything for me in my adult life. I LOVE my husband and in our 17 year relationship we have crossed many, many hurdles. We continue to cross them everyday. My husband is not responsible for my weight, so I want to make it clear that I am not saying that in anyway, but I have struggled my entire pre-adolescent and adult life to validate that I am worthy of something good...anything good. I am a romantic and I want romance. My husband is a good and loving man, but he is anything but romantic. He tries, because he knows that I want him to try. Which is sweet, but it is never that big, gigantic, romantic gesture that I thought would be part of my life at some point and that moment alone would bond us in 'forever love'. This I blame solely on Disney. You never see the part of Cinderella where she is alone in the castle while Prince Charming takes the dogs our hunting. Or that part in the Little Mermaid where Ariel cries to Flounder that if Prince Eric had to choose between her or beer that he might choose beer. (Oh wait...that might only be my life). He won't buy me candy so I am good there. Every once in a while, he will send me flowers to work, but then he will ruin it by jokingly saying something like it gets him off the hook for the next few years. He tries, but nothing is up to par for me. The problem is me...not him, which is usually why you will find me in Wal-greens the day after V-day buying the 50% off box of Turtles and eating them in the car on the way home.
Not this year.