Sunday, February 13, 2011

Dieting, Training, and the Valentine's Monster

Welcome to another episode of my life. It has never been nominated for an Emmy (unfortunately the acting is just ok ), but it can still be a wildly entertaining dramedy. I am kind of in a weird place today because I spent a lot of my morning catching up on my blog readings and they always make me think. Some have wavered this week, but are back on plan. Some are on a positive track forward ( I count myself among those this week). Some are busy deflecting (no names). I personally, do not have a problem with people deflecting on their blogs because it kind of clues me in that something may not be going 100% in the right direction, but the fact that they are keeping up with updates lets me know that they want to keep traveling on the path. Face it...we've all been there.

I am doing really well with the fitbit. I like it. Well, so far. There is one little glitch that bothers me. It does an automatic update any time you are within 15 feet of the base, but only if you are logged into the internet. As I have mentioned many times that much to my chagrin, I live rurally, the only way to have HIGH SPEED internet is through an air card. I am convinced that somewhere there is a hamster running on a wheel and when he internet goes down. (hmmm...if the internet could be powered by my treadmill, would I run more?) So in order to get it to sync I have to power down the entire computer and restart ..ugh. At this point though, it is really a small price to pay for data, data, and more data.

I haven't been talking about it, but I am still training for the Komen. It is turning out to be a much bigger task than I thought. I have seen no real progression in times and I HAVE been trying. I am able to stay at a higher walking pace for longer periods of time, but the running is increasingly more difficult. I looked at C25K for treadmill and I physically can not run as many times as required in 30 minutes and the recovery times in between are nowhere near long enough. I have decided to just plug away at it and try the program again in about three weeks. Maybe by then I will have crossed a big enough weight hurdle to see an improvement. I took a sneak peek and the scale now seems to be moving in the right direction.

Valentine's Day...ugh! Honestly people, Disney and childhood ruined everything for me in my adult life. I LOVE my husband and in our 17 year relationship we have crossed many, many hurdles. We continue to cross them everyday. My husband is not responsible for my weight, so I want to make it clear that I am not saying that in anyway, but I have struggled my entire pre-adolescent and adult life to validate that I am worthy of something good...anything good. I am a romantic and I want romance. My husband is a good and loving man, but he is anything but romantic. He tries, because he knows that I want him to try. Which is sweet, but it is never that big, gigantic, romantic gesture that I thought would be part of my life at some point and that moment alone would bond us in 'forever love'. This I blame solely on Disney. You never see the part of Cinderella where she is alone in the castle while Prince Charming takes the dogs our hunting. Or that part in the Little Mermaid where Ariel cries to Flounder that if Prince Eric had to choose between her or beer that he might choose beer. (Oh wait...that might only be my life). He won't buy me candy so I am good there. Every once in a while, he will send me flowers to work, but then he will ruin it by jokingly saying something like it gets him off the hook for the next few years. He tries, but nothing is up to par for me. The problem is me...not him, which is usually why you will find me in Wal-greens the day after V-day buying the 50% off box of Turtles and eating them in the car on the way home.

Not this year.


  1. It sounds like he doesn't understand your love language. It's a good book, but this small excerpt might help.

  2. I feel you. =/ I sometimes feel like Adam only does things because he knows that I want him to - which isn't the same as doing them because HE wants to, or genuinely feels in such a big enough way that he does it just out of the sheer desire to see me light up at his romantics. Lol.

    But I think that you can work up to the couch25k. I wouldn't restrict myself to something that's impossible right off the bat, but hey, at least you're working on it. Which is awesome. I envy you your treadmill! ;)

    I hope maybe this year, that the hubby will do something at least marginally romantic, sans the comments that make it a little cheap. =/ Either way, though - happy valentine's day! <3 You are awesome.

  3. The hamster comment cracked me up. I can just picture that...really. I so hear you on the V-Day thingy - but it is never that big, gigantic, romantic gesture that I thought would be part of my life - because that rarely happens, except on tv. I like being romantic every day with kind words and gestures. I'm not letting "them" tell me when to buy and what to do (lol). Enjoyed your post.

  4. Aww maybe you need to mention that when he buys you something nice for Valentines Day, it makes you feel inclined to thank him later.. wink wink. That'll do the trick lol. I hate the huge V-day setups in the stores. I have to talk myself down to just keep walking past them. Glad to read about your latest episode :)

  5. Excellent post, understand about the beer part too. silly guys...ahhh. take care.