We Falter, We Fail, We Fly

Sooo...sorry again about being so melancholy in my last post. Sometimes things happen in your life and they knock you off your feet or at the very least knock the wind out of your sails. It's easy to blame yourself sometimes, even when you are not at fault. While I still don't want to discuss what happened, I don't want to turn this blog into a religious deal either, but if you are a believer in God then you will probably relate. I found myself blaming God for giving me waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more in my lifetime than one can possibly handle, but after distance and the kind words of a friend, I realized that what may seem soul crushing to you today, may actually be the kindest and most gracious way to clue you in. In essence, it definitely could have been worse.

I have experienced some food failures this week, but I am not going to cry about it. I also experienced some strength in the face of temptation.

Saturday was my daughter's 6th birthday party. We had planned a bowling extravaganza! It was also my nephew's 2nd birthday. My sister in law planned a breakfast at Bob Evans and then on to my daughter's party. Breakfast food is a complete downfall for me. I love it all, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, toast, biscuits, gravy, pancakes and believe it or not...the list goes on. Breakfast has been like when I quit smoking...I know I can't do it. It's a slippery slope, once I cave...it's over. I did really well though. I had oatmeal, 1 turkey sausage link and an egg.

At bowling, my sister in law served Ian's cake, I refrained. I knew I was going to eat cake today...it was inevitable, but if I could get past the first round, maybe...just maybe I could have a fantastic food day still and I did. Throughout the remainder of the day, I had 2 slices of veggie pizza a handful of Southwestern Ranch Baked Lays (mmmm) and one 2in x 2in slice of cake and I left the yummy goodness that is buttercream icing alone (no convincing could make me eat Crisco and sugar).

Last night, I was back at the trainer. I quickly learned that missing that one day last week and failing at attempting to do anything else at home was hard. Getting through the workout felt a lot like the first day.

I have also decided that if people's bodies gained weight the same way they lost weight, they would be more proactive about not letting themselves gain it in the first place. As I am losing weight and gaining muscle, the areas that are increasing strength and muscle mass are becoming tighter than others. A good example if this is the strengthening of my abs...RIGHT DOWN THE CENTER! It's not funny, but at the same time, I now have what looks like and sometimes feels like a droopy A/small B cup set of breasts directly below my original models.

REMINDER TO SELF: MUST LEARN HOW TO CORRECT THIS ISSUE!

All in all, I feel better this week. I know that my personal issue is moving forward to resolution and I know that I am on the runway and with each inch that I move forward I am preparing myself to take flight.