Sunday, August 22, 2010

Walk A Mile in My Shoes

This week is kind of like Biggest Loser Week 2.

This is where the real work begins, only I thought I started already. I was wrong. Week one leaves you feeling over confident. Look what I can do! I lost 7 pounds. I am amazing. I am here to tell you folks, I am not amazing! I am not even semi-spectacular. I am a 35 year old woman that hit a low this week and struggled to keep her head above water. The kicker...I somehow made it through to the other side.

It's like anything else. In week one, everything is new and exciting and your confidence is bolstered. In week two, you are the problem. Just like you were up until week one. You know what needs to be done, you did it the week before, but your old mind set tries to finagle it's way in and it's easy because it's familiar.

It started as an excuse. I was injured, albeit a minor injury, but it felt like I collapsed a lung. I could only make one training appointment last week with Autumn starting school and I took a day to spend with Erica since there had been so much recent focus on Autumn. It was easy to NOT work out. Then Saturday came. I took my position on the wall and began my side leg lift reps and then my wall push-ups. I sat on the ball and thought about lifting weights, but my back and side were killing me. Well, KILLING me is kind of a strong word. Being a writer is a dangerous thing. I can usually find the right words to say, to convince others, to convince myself, but words are not getting weight off my body. Words have done nothing for me at this point in my life. Strangely enough, I can write a million words, but having the courage to use them when I need to, well...that's a journey that goes far beyond this blog.

There was such an odd beginning to Sunday. I woke up around 6:30, perused the life that was spent on Facebook while I slept and around 7:00 am I started to get this feeling. I really needed to workout today. I REALLY didn't want to. I thought about starting with the leg lifts again, but I saw myself stopping right at the same point I did Saturday. So I thought some more...I thought about going into the basement and riding the stationary bike, but I just couldn't see me spending any real time on it, I KNEW that I was doomed to fail. I thought about taking a walk and I chuckled to myself, as anyone who truly knows me knows that I HATE..HATE..HATE..to walk.

Walking hits me on every personal weakness that I have. It sounds so stupid, but if I walk someplace, I have to walk back. I have to be able to physically get myself back. I have to depend on me. Hmmm...what's that about?

Going back to my "YEAR OF COURAGE" (It sounds so possible in caps, dontcha think?). I decided that walking was the only way that I was going to get it done for the very reasons listed above. If I was going to walk...I had to bring myself back. I had to push myself to do it and follow through and reach the goal. I strapped on my shape ups, let the dog out to walk with me, secured my iPod and was on my way. I walked about a half mile down the road and then I walked myself back. Then I did my circuit that I run with my trainer, and did 50 laps around the pool.

Today, I am 299 lbs. I have lost two more pounds and on a country road somewhere in rural Missouri, I may have dropped some baggage. If you find it, please...forget to tell me.

4 comments:

  1. Happy to know you pushed through and did what you desired to do---glad you listened with your heart (the body will do whatevever you allow)
    each moment is a victory or loss (think about it) I'm on your side

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  2. Some times the hardest step is the one into the exercise shoes. :)

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  3. hell YEA below 300!! well DONE!

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  4. You are so strong! Be very proud of yourself! To sustain determination is so hard to do and you did it!!!

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