Sunday, May 15, 2011


I want to start this post with my number 283.2.  It's a loss!  Yay!  I am glad to see it!  I have been asking for it and since I have been at home, my eating habits have changed.  My exercise habits however, have not. This is a definite thing that I need to work on, not only to lose weight, but to be strong.

This blog has been a journey for sure and has dealt in the truth of a lot of the hurt and pain that I have felt for a long time.  It has represented an overall heaviness that I have felt in my life for, well....for my lifetime.  A heaviness on my body and a heaviness in my heart.  I have struggled.  In the last year, I have dealt with terrible overwhelming sadness from my own anger.  I have been angry at everything and everyone, but timid and as a result...I let it fester.  This was a huge block to any recovery that I might have ever achieved.

I am in a really good place today.  I am in a good place because I reconnected with an old friend.  Jesus Christ.  You may say...oh she goes, but I will never be ashamed of this relationship.  I am tired of living in fear and I have now given my fear to God.  I am tired of being angry and I have given that to him as well.

Jesus loves me fat or thin. God has given me life everyday and I have wasted it and treated it as if it didn't matter and I was wrong for that.  I have been blessed with a wonderful family and wonderful friends and I have not given him the proper thanks.  I am thanking him today and everyday.  If I lose be it.  I am starting this journey over with a friend, workout partner, and redeemer.  Hope you will come along!

1 comment:

  1. I love this post! And tou help you continue the journey you should download the song shackles by either mary mary or mandisa I prefer the latter. Either way it is a great fitting song, but it is defintely a great work out song.