Wednesday, July 7, 2010

In a Funk and Starting Over

It's been almost a year since I started this. I am embarrassed to say that I am still as big as I ever was. I am embarrassed to admit that I have failed at this point to keep this up. What is up with me?

Life gets in the way of living. I am not living. I am going through the motions everyday..still doing more for others than I am myself. Not that my life isn't at all good. There is some good. There are good people. People who love me. People who genuinely care about me. People who want me to succeed. People who need me to succeed.

I find myself becoming increasingly more negative which is good for nothing. My negativity is a source of humor for some, but the more negative I become the more acerbic my forked tongue becomes. The thinner my confidence becomes, the thicker my walls become.

The truth is I am tired of certain people walking all over me. I am tired of holding it in. The more I hold in, the angrier I get. The angrier I get, the more withdrawn I become. The more withdrawn I become, the less drive I have. It's continuous and it's vicious.

I guess I am going back to square one. My goal is to locate my scale and do this for real and do this right.

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