Sunday, July 18, 2010

Am I actually setting a goal?

I think I might be. On Saturday, July 24th, I will have been a non smoker for 1 full year. Can you believe it? I know I CAN'T. Making it this long without lady cigarette, the temptress is unbelievable. If I can do this, I should be able to achieve anything, right?

So here it is people.

I am going to lose weight. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Shocker, right? I am making a serious commitment. I, however, am not going to put a figure on it. No number of pounds, no desired size, just one fantastic goal...take my kids to Six Flags next year and ACTUALLY be able to fit on the rides.

Believers in Karma will love this story.

When I was younger, a preteen even, I went to Six Flags with my bestie...a fantastic day of Thunder River and feeling the thrilling potential that my neck may snap on the Ninja. I was fresh off the Stepfather diet and thinner than I had been since I was 6 or 7. I saw a woman who was struggling to walk with this incredible belly. At 11 or 12 I had never seen anything like it. I looked at my friend and I said..."If I ever get that big, shoot me."

Wrong...I know. This could however, could explain my paranoia, looking over my shoulder, fear of being alone. While she doesn't strike me as the conceal and carry type, a promise between friends is a promise between friends, right?

So apologies to random woman...I now know how it feels and I owe you a huge apology. Somewhere, someone is asking their friend to shoot them if they ever get as big as me and I am praying for them. They should never have to endure this life, this struggle and neither should I. So I am trading in the "church skirt" for the "mini" and striving to share a day or season of fun with my children.

The goal is to be more honest with myself.


  1. I was the same way - I can remember saying "if I EVER weigh more than 200 lbs, I'll just DIE!!"...welp, I hit that mark about 10 years ago and have hovered between the same 20 lbs over the last 4 years.

    I've been making a conscious effort in the last few weeks modifying my diet - I haven't quit the smoking yet although I know I NEED to.

    I applaud you for setting the goal for yourself on weight loss, and you are amazing for being a non-smoker for a whole year! Congratulations :)