When we last found our heroine...
I had made a very public announcement that I had changed my mind about bariatric surgery and was moving forward with having the procedure. I was also filling you in on my Color Run participation and looking forward to a more active and productive summer as I started to prepare myself for a journey I thought I'd never take.
That was nearly 4 months ago and boy did I take it. Here are just a few highlights of my active summer so far:
I've lost 23lbs so far and I am continuing with the medically supervised weight loss and visiting my surgeon once a month. I am down to my last two appointments. Unfortunately, I've recently seen glimpses of old me, you know which one, the saboteur. I hate that heifer. She has gotten me into more trouble. I don't really hate her, she's just too needy for me at this point. I cannot have her in my life anymore. I'll miss her in some ways, but truthfully I already have the best parts of her. It's her BS I can't have.
The summer has not been all joy and success.
Despite all these strides to bettering myself, I have battled some life trolls:
1. A random woman at Wal-Mart who decided I was too disgusting for her 6 month old baby to look at and actually said as much while covering her eyes.
2. A jerky dude at Carlsbad Caverns who had to make a rude comment in front of my kids about my fat ass and that I was checking my steps on my Fitbit. (mind you, I walked 750 ft straight up and out of the cave, while this bright spot of humanity stood in line for 3 hours waiting for the elevator up)
and finally (This one took me by surprise)
3. My dietitian.
Let me explain...
As part of the insurance requirements for bariatric surgery, I have to have a dietary consultation and a psychiatric evaluation. Depending on your insurance, this may happen in the beginning of the process, but seeing that my insurance requires me to go through 6 months of medically supervised weight loss, my doc did not send me right away.
Of course, I assume that all appendages of the bariatric surgery body are aware of what the other is doing, apparently, they are not...
I walk into the office and he weighs me. (I've gained 3 lbs, so my heart kind of hurt, but mind you...this guy has no idea that I have gained weight).
he says, "How tall are you?"
"Five foot one and one half inches"
"Are you sure"
"My license says 5'2", but I'm sure it is 5'1.5"."
"Let me take your height" "Just a hair over 5'1.5"
(I think, isn't that what I said)
We go into a different room where he asks me about my diet. I eat the same frickin' thing Monday through Friday for all 3 meals. I know what I eat and I KNOW the calorie count. I lay the entire thing out for him with precision to which he responds while looking at me judgingly from over the top of his glasses, "Mmmhmmm. Are you sure there are no exceptions?"
I respond "Monday through Friday, no exceptions."
"Well, tell me a little bit about what happens on the weekend? Chaos?"
"No, I stay within calorie count, but I do allow myself bread and carbs that I normally do not allow during the week."
"Well, we don't frown upon a cheat item from time to time, we do frown upon a cheat weekend."
My mind says... Excuse me. Where in what I said did you hear "cheat weekend"?
I say, "I wouldn't call it cheating. I only eat between 1200 and 1400 calories per day, I am just not as strict the actual food. It's not like I'm eating 1200 calories in donuts."
He looks at me starting with my abdomen and ending at my face and says "Mmmhmm. What about exercise?"
"Well, up until about 2 weeks ago, I was walking at least 5 miles per day."
"How many days per week?"
"Everyday." (hot tears building, ya'll, hot tears.)
"Mmmhmm. well, lets set a goal...lets set a goal to eat right 7 days a week. Do you think we can do that?"
"Sure." (with no intention of changing anything)
"Great! Let's also set an exercise goal of walking 5 miles per day at least 6 days a week, can we do that?"
I say "sure", but I'm thinking "I know I can, can you?"
I leave the office totally defeated. What the hell with this guy? I see my surgeon tomorrow and I guess I will let him know that I think this dude is a total POS.
I totally get the people they deal with, I understand that people are not forthright, but that isn't me. I am all in with this, I am all about being truthful with this.
I guess he missed the "I'm an emotional eater" answer on the front of the page, because this guy nearly sent me into the arms of a Cheeseburger hug.
Nearly.
Instead I went back to work, walked, and vented to my friend.
Just because I have found an answer that I believe will work for me does not make the struggle any easier.
Until next time....
I had made a very public announcement that I had changed my mind about bariatric surgery and was moving forward with having the procedure. I was also filling you in on my Color Run participation and looking forward to a more active and productive summer as I started to prepare myself for a journey I thought I'd never take.
That was nearly 4 months ago and boy did I take it. Here are just a few highlights of my active summer so far:
 |
| My friend Courtney and I as we participated in the Roller Coaster Race at Six Flags over St. Louis. |
 |
| My medal from my first "at your own pace marathon |
 |
| Me with my second online medal which was 59.5 miles completed in 10 days |
 |
| Third medal 78.5 miles complete in 19 days |
 |
| I climbed to the top of the natural cave opening at Carlsbad Caverns. (If you've ever done this, you know what I feat this is) |
 |
| In two years, I'm already a different person, but not yet the person I'll become. |
The summer has not been all joy and success.
Despite all these strides to bettering myself, I have battled some life trolls:
1. A random woman at Wal-Mart who decided I was too disgusting for her 6 month old baby to look at and actually said as much while covering her eyes.
2. A jerky dude at Carlsbad Caverns who had to make a rude comment in front of my kids about my fat ass and that I was checking my steps on my Fitbit. (mind you, I walked 750 ft straight up and out of the cave, while this bright spot of humanity stood in line for 3 hours waiting for the elevator up)
and finally (This one took me by surprise)
3. My dietitian.
Let me explain...
As part of the insurance requirements for bariatric surgery, I have to have a dietary consultation and a psychiatric evaluation. Depending on your insurance, this may happen in the beginning of the process, but seeing that my insurance requires me to go through 6 months of medically supervised weight loss, my doc did not send me right away.
Of course, I assume that all appendages of the bariatric surgery body are aware of what the other is doing, apparently, they are not...
I walk into the office and he weighs me. (I've gained 3 lbs, so my heart kind of hurt, but mind you...this guy has no idea that I have gained weight).
he says, "How tall are you?"
"Five foot one and one half inches"
"Are you sure"
"My license says 5'2", but I'm sure it is 5'1.5"."
"Let me take your height" "Just a hair over 5'1.5"
(I think, isn't that what I said)
We go into a different room where he asks me about my diet. I eat the same frickin' thing Monday through Friday for all 3 meals. I know what I eat and I KNOW the calorie count. I lay the entire thing out for him with precision to which he responds while looking at me judgingly from over the top of his glasses, "Mmmhmmm. Are you sure there are no exceptions?"
I respond "Monday through Friday, no exceptions."
"Well, tell me a little bit about what happens on the weekend? Chaos?"
"No, I stay within calorie count, but I do allow myself bread and carbs that I normally do not allow during the week."
"Well, we don't frown upon a cheat item from time to time, we do frown upon a cheat weekend."
My mind says... Excuse me. Where in what I said did you hear "cheat weekend"?
I say, "I wouldn't call it cheating. I only eat between 1200 and 1400 calories per day, I am just not as strict the actual food. It's not like I'm eating 1200 calories in donuts."
He looks at me starting with my abdomen and ending at my face and says "Mmmhmm. What about exercise?"
"Well, up until about 2 weeks ago, I was walking at least 5 miles per day."
"How many days per week?"
"Everyday." (hot tears building, ya'll, hot tears.)
"Mmmhmm. well, lets set a goal...lets set a goal to eat right 7 days a week. Do you think we can do that?"
"Sure." (with no intention of changing anything)
"Great! Let's also set an exercise goal of walking 5 miles per day at least 6 days a week, can we do that?"
I say "sure", but I'm thinking "I know I can, can you?"
I leave the office totally defeated. What the hell with this guy? I see my surgeon tomorrow and I guess I will let him know that I think this dude is a total POS.
I totally get the people they deal with, I understand that people are not forthright, but that isn't me. I am all in with this, I am all about being truthful with this.
I guess he missed the "I'm an emotional eater" answer on the front of the page, because this guy nearly sent me into the arms of a Cheeseburger hug.
Nearly.
Instead I went back to work, walked, and vented to my friend.
Just because I have found an answer that I believe will work for me does not make the struggle any easier.
Until next time....
Hi Christie,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're back! I really enjoy reading your blog. I like your style of writing and I like that you are so forthcoming with what you write. I'm sorry for the idiots you encountered this summer at Walmart, and hiking, as the saying goes, "you can't fix stupid." The Dr. that you saw should have known better and needs to work on his "bedside manner," but in his case maybe "you can't fix asshole."
I've decided that I am going to come back as well, that is why I logged on, but I saw you had new posts so I have to read those first! I know the honesty and accountability will help me.
So, yay that you are back, keep doing what you are doing, you are, as always, an inspiration.