I know it, you know it, we all know it...
So, let me just say that there are reasons. Reasons that I didn't want to talk about and in not talking about them, I felt like a liar, and in feeling like a liar, I felt like a fraud so I quit blogging.
I realized that sometimes you can go through something with someone and appreciate their strength and how well you work together and admire the things that you are able to accomplish together and then find out later that you suffered more than that person becuase they let you. You worked harder than that person because you made it easier for them to float by without as much effort. You actually made it through everything by yourself and that person was just walking along watching you do it. In actuality, you should have been appreciating your OWN strength and accomplishments.
I have been in the thick of despair and the depths of depression and refusing to let it have me. I have been forced into some hard decisions and because of it, a life has been transformed that resulted in the transformation of other lives and ultimately creating a stronger less afraid me and bringing someone that was completely lost inside themselves back to a person that I remember from waaaaay back when. I know this is all very cryptic, but the situation was a very bad situation for me and I want to tell you more than anything, but I was an observer of someone else's battle with their demons and while that battle is being fought and won, I can not reveal their struggle. I can only tell you that I was shattered. I was a shell of my former self and I am still not 100% back.
I am, however, on a new mission. Well, it's actually the same mission, but with renewed vigor. I am starting off in honor of 2011 with 11 day challenges. I am challenging myself, but you are welcome to come along. I also would love ti if some of you would recommend challenges. I am promising myself that 2011 will be an opportunity for renewal and reinvention at every turn!
I would also like to mention those of you who have supported me and have walked beside me in my journey! I feel liek I have let you down by dropping off the planet for almost two months, but I AM HUMAN!!! I can't promise not to let you down again, but I can make an effort to do it as little as possible. :) <---see that smiley emoticon? That translates to I mean it...
1st 11 day challenge revealed tomorrow to start on 01/01/2011.