Tuesday, March 22, 2016

The Scoop

This morning, I'm not sure how to feel about my decision to proceed with the consideration of weight loss surgery.

It feels like giving up.

I'm not giving up.

I'm calling it a course correction.  Why?  Well since you asked, its alliterative and I am in love with healthy doses of alliteration.  It also sounds better than "I am totally disappointed in myself and at this juncture my deja vu's deja vu has deja vu."

How does one get to the point of doing the one thing they said they'd never do?
I'll break it down in 10 simple steps.


1. Say you'll never do the thing. (This is key)
2. Work really hard at doing the opposite of the thing.
3.Once you really start seeing results, work half-ass at doing the opposite thing.
4. Get tired of your own BS about the opposite thing.
5.Stop doing the opposite thing.
6. Stop doing anything
7. Feel bad about yourself. (This is an important step and can sometimes switch places with #6)
8.( Warning, this is a long one)Watch about 25 episodes of My 600-lb life to solidify that you feel bad about yourself, because these people are more than double your size and they are changing their lives.  Look at what they've accomplished in a year and you have accomplished nothing in 5 or more years of trying.
9. Remind yourself that people think you're great and love you while you also tell yourself that you have them fooled and they can't possibly see that you are truly a failure.
10. Resign yourself to do the thing.

Granted #8 is oddly specific to my personal thing, but it can easily be replaced with Hoarders (shout out clutterbugs!) or something that forces you to be all up in your feelings about both the thing and the opposite of the thing.

Whew!  We work really hard at letting ourselves down don't we?  After I wrote all that out I thought from now on I should just skip steps 2-9 from now on.

I understand the amount of work and dedication that will still need to be in place for this to be successful. 

I have a plan.

It looks like this:

The Plan

  1. Visit the seminar that I've been to twice (because insurance requires it)
  2. Make the appointment with the Dr.
  3. Continue with my program.  Race season is upon us, so the plan is to continue gearing up.  I have races scheduled through May, I am planning on continuing to schedule them through the summer.
  4. Get healthier and go with surgery (unless I get so healthy I don't need surgery o_O )
Anyway, so that's the scoop from my neck of the woods right now.

Feel free to mock me online here or on your favorite social media outlet.

Twitter:  @truefictionblog

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