First of all...it's no surprise to any of you that I have done some back-stepping.
Secondly...I need to start from where I am at.
Thirdly...I think I ruined this blog. Too much whining and complaining. My whole point in this was always supposed to be to prove that I was more than fat and in all honesty it just started to drag me down. I am trying to decide whether I want to continue this here or start all over.
Times are tough, but I am tougher.
I love each and everyone that I have met through here and have stepped up to encourage me. I love the feeling of community that you all have brought to me, the fact of the matter is that I started feeling that I was painting myself as the village idiot.
I'll be honest...people in my personal life pushing me to stop telling my truths here also started weighing on me. People suggesting that I should lock everything I say away in a personal journal rather than exploit my life. It made all less freeing for me and I really started to feel censored.
On the other hand, blogging has been enjoyable. It kept my feelings on the surface.
If I decide to move on from here. I'll let you know and if you want to...I would like you to follow, but I'll understand if you don't.
Decisions, Decisions!!!
Secondly...I need to start from where I am at.
Thirdly...I think I ruined this blog. Too much whining and complaining. My whole point in this was always supposed to be to prove that I was more than fat and in all honesty it just started to drag me down. I am trying to decide whether I want to continue this here or start all over.
Times are tough, but I am tougher.
I love each and everyone that I have met through here and have stepped up to encourage me. I love the feeling of community that you all have brought to me, the fact of the matter is that I started feeling that I was painting myself as the village idiot.
I'll be honest...people in my personal life pushing me to stop telling my truths here also started weighing on me. People suggesting that I should lock everything I say away in a personal journal rather than exploit my life. It made all less freeing for me and I really started to feel censored.
On the other hand, blogging has been enjoyable. It kept my feelings on the surface.
If I decide to move on from here. I'll let you know and if you want to...I would like you to follow, but I'll understand if you don't.
Decisions, Decisions!!!
Just do what is best for you. This is a good support system, utilize it in the best way possible. We all stumble. Fight for what you want.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone was saying the same to me - I am sure I would feel censored too. Only one friend knows about my blog and the privacy helps me.
ReplyDeleteI have missed you and I don't want you to be other than yourself, if you're down one day, then say so and I can try to cheer you up or offer advice. I don't think you have ruined your blog as I've loved getting to know you here and I was really sorry not to see you as much - and I said so.
Wherever you go in blogland PLEASE tell me as I want to follow - and to follow the real you not the censored one xx Take care
Dawn
I would love to follow where you make land! Maybe the fam not knowing your blog address would help??
ReplyDeleteHi Christie,
ReplyDeleteI also have been going through some stuff and have also been absent. I just finished catching up on reading your posts. I have to say I have always enjoyed reading your blog. I like your style of writing and your outlook on things. I'm sorry that you feel censored, or judged by the 'real' people in your life. I feel that we need to do it for ourselves and do what's right for us. There is actually no one in my life that knows I blog. My primary reason for this is different than most, I have said, and will say some things about my ex and I can't risk my child ever getting wind of. He is an ass to me, but bottom line is he is the best dad he knows how to be to my child, and he is the only dad my child has.
Opps sorry that got to be about me...yikes.... just wanted to let you know I appreciate your blog, and enjoy being allowed to come along on your path.
You do what makes you happy!
ReplyDelete