Dear Little Dudes,
Right now, Erica is saying, "I'm not a little dude, I'm a big dude".
It's hard for me to explain how much love I have in my heart for you. It is overwhelming at times.
I never thought I would have kids. I never thought I wanted them because as a child for me life seemed cruel. I grew up thinking that there were no guarantees in life and if there were they almost certainly fell to the negative. I had decided that it wasn't fair to bring a child into strife and pain.
Then I grew up. Not the kind of grow up that you think. One day you will grow up and you will say "I'm grown up now, I get it", but guaranteed this kind of growing up is still years beyond you. I realized that I am a product of my environment and any kids that I have will be a product of theirs as well. Unlike when I was a kid..I have some input on your environment and it's my job to keep you safe.
Autumn, I worked so hard for you. I don't regret one single minute of testing and medication. I am thankful that you showed me that when you are at your wits end and you are about to give up, you might actually be on the verge of something great. You were that something great. You ARE that something great!
Erica Bearica Boo. First off..stop sucking your thumb!
You have shown me that despite the fact that I think I have myself all figured out, I don't. No matter how much I think I can control...I can not control everything. You have re-taught me the joy of laughter and the refined art of sarcasm all in a glance. You are my sweet irony. My "me" reincarnate. You..will test me. To be clear...I will win. ;)
I promised that I would get myself together when you both were born. I would never let you know the pain of having a 'fat mom'. I never wanted you to be embarrassed of me. You guys made it too easy on me, you showed me unconditional love and I got lost in that for a while. I lost sight of why it was important to me. With the lessons that you have taught me about perseverance and letting go of control, I am on a new path now and one that I hope will make us proud. One that I know will lead us to the day when stories can begin with "Remember when you were F-A-T?" (and thank you Autumn for spelling it out because you think it hurts my feelings and I am sorry that you have taken the role of my protector in that regard.)
I am going to succeed this time, because you need me and I need you.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, February 14, 2011
Weigh-In News
Just a quick note!
First off Happy Valentine's Day! Secondly...My weigh-in this morning was 291.4! So, still higher than when I started, but after last weeks weigh-in I am generally happy (not to mention that friends at work know I was FREAKING out because On Wednesday, the scale read 296.1 and I was really starting to become disheartened! I am down approx 3.0 from last Monday!
Onward and Downward!
First off Happy Valentine's Day! Secondly...My weigh-in this morning was 291.4! So, still higher than when I started, but after last weeks weigh-in I am generally happy (not to mention that friends at work know I was FREAKING out because On Wednesday, the scale read 296.1 and I was really starting to become disheartened! I am down approx 3.0 from last Monday!
Onward and Downward!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Dieting, Training, and the Valentine's Monster
Welcome to another episode of my life. It has never been nominated for an Emmy (unfortunately the acting is just ok ), but it can still be a wildly entertaining dramedy. I am kind of in a weird place today because I spent a lot of my morning catching up on my blog readings and they always make me think. Some have wavered this week, but are back on plan. Some are on a positive track forward ( I count myself among those this week). Some are busy deflecting (no names). I personally, do not have a problem with people deflecting on their blogs because it kind of clues me in that something may not be going 100% in the right direction, but the fact that they are keeping up with updates lets me know that they want to keep traveling on the path. Face it...we've all been there.
I am doing really well with the fitbit. I like it. Well, so far. There is one little glitch that bothers me. It does an automatic update any time you are within 15 feet of the base, but only if you are logged into the internet. As I have mentioned many times that much to my chagrin, I live rurally, the only way to have HIGH SPEED internet is through an air card. I am convinced that somewhere there is a hamster running on a wheel and when he quits...my internet goes down. (hmmm...if the internet could be powered by my treadmill, would I run more?) So in order to get it to sync I have to power down the entire computer and restart ..ugh. At this point though, it is really a small price to pay for data, data, and more data.
I haven't been talking about it, but I am still training for the Komen. It is turning out to be a much bigger task than I thought. I have seen no real progression in times and I HAVE been trying. I am able to stay at a higher walking pace for longer periods of time, but the running is increasingly more difficult. I looked at C25K for treadmill and I physically can not run as many times as required in 30 minutes and the recovery times in between are nowhere near long enough. I have decided to just plug away at it and try the program again in about three weeks. Maybe by then I will have crossed a big enough weight hurdle to see an improvement. I took a sneak peek and the scale now seems to be moving in the right direction.
Valentine's Day...ugh! Honestly people, Disney and childhood ruined everything for me in my adult life. I LOVE my husband and in our 17 year relationship we have crossed many, many hurdles. We continue to cross them everyday. My husband is not responsible for my weight, so I want to make it clear that I am not saying that in anyway, but I have struggled my entire pre-adolescent and adult life to validate that I am worthy of something good...anything good. I am a romantic and I want romance. My husband is a good and loving man, but he is anything but romantic. He tries, because he knows that I want him to try. Which is sweet, but it is never that big, gigantic, romantic gesture that I thought would be part of my life at some point and that moment alone would bond us in 'forever love'. This I blame solely on Disney. You never see the part of Cinderella where she is alone in the castle while Prince Charming takes the dogs our hunting. Or that part in the Little Mermaid where Ariel cries to Flounder that if Prince Eric had to choose between her or beer that he might choose beer. (Oh wait...that might only be my life). He won't buy me candy so I am good there. Every once in a while, he will send me flowers to work, but then he will ruin it by jokingly saying something like it gets him off the hook for the next few years. He tries, but nothing is up to par for me. The problem is me...not him, which is usually why you will find me in Wal-greens the day after V-day buying the 50% off box of Turtles and eating them in the car on the way home.
Not this year.
I am doing really well with the fitbit. I like it. Well, so far. There is one little glitch that bothers me. It does an automatic update any time you are within 15 feet of the base, but only if you are logged into the internet. As I have mentioned many times that much to my chagrin, I live rurally, the only way to have HIGH SPEED internet is through an air card. I am convinced that somewhere there is a hamster running on a wheel and when he quits...my internet goes down. (hmmm...if the internet could be powered by my treadmill, would I run more?) So in order to get it to sync I have to power down the entire computer and restart ..ugh. At this point though, it is really a small price to pay for data, data, and more data.
I haven't been talking about it, but I am still training for the Komen. It is turning out to be a much bigger task than I thought. I have seen no real progression in times and I HAVE been trying. I am able to stay at a higher walking pace for longer periods of time, but the running is increasingly more difficult. I looked at C25K for treadmill and I physically can not run as many times as required in 30 minutes and the recovery times in between are nowhere near long enough. I have decided to just plug away at it and try the program again in about three weeks. Maybe by then I will have crossed a big enough weight hurdle to see an improvement. I took a sneak peek and the scale now seems to be moving in the right direction.
Valentine's Day...ugh! Honestly people, Disney and childhood ruined everything for me in my adult life. I LOVE my husband and in our 17 year relationship we have crossed many, many hurdles. We continue to cross them everyday. My husband is not responsible for my weight, so I want to make it clear that I am not saying that in anyway, but I have struggled my entire pre-adolescent and adult life to validate that I am worthy of something good...anything good. I am a romantic and I want romance. My husband is a good and loving man, but he is anything but romantic. He tries, because he knows that I want him to try. Which is sweet, but it is never that big, gigantic, romantic gesture that I thought would be part of my life at some point and that moment alone would bond us in 'forever love'. This I blame solely on Disney. You never see the part of Cinderella where she is alone in the castle while Prince Charming takes the dogs our hunting. Or that part in the Little Mermaid where Ariel cries to Flounder that if Prince Eric had to choose between her or beer that he might choose beer. (Oh wait...that might only be my life). He won't buy me candy so I am good there. Every once in a while, he will send me flowers to work, but then he will ruin it by jokingly saying something like it gets him off the hook for the next few years. He tries, but nothing is up to par for me. The problem is me...not him, which is usually why you will find me in Wal-greens the day after V-day buying the 50% off box of Turtles and eating them in the car on the way home.
Not this year.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Just A Little 'bit' Fit
It's been a long week...
I had another snow day on Thursday and well, have I mentioned that I am tired of them? I was on my way to work, packing the kids in the car to go to daycare and the sitter, respectively, when the phone rang. Yes, it was an all too familiar number. I picked up and gave the courtesy 'hello' just so that I could hear that robotic male voice on the other side of the line stating "The following message is from School Reach" (This man's voice angers me like an old boyfriend that once borrowed my car while I was working and then failed to pick me up for 5 hours after my shift) I let out a loud, "You have got to be KIDDING me.", but by that time he had 'handed' the phone off to his lady friend to give me another recorded message telling me there was no school."
Can't they alter that message? For once, can I pick up the phone and hear "We are truly sorry that for the safety of your child we must cancel classes today, we know that this is an inconvenience to your careers and ability to make $$ to feed said kids, but perhaps since you live in a rural area you can spend today teaching them to live off the land." (Cue the banjos) Who am I kidding? I went back in and took a LONG nap. I do want to acknowledge that normally, I have a backup plan, but unfortunately the sitter that watches my daughter had a death in the family this week, so it fell to me.
Things have been so busy this week, I have neglected checking in...but I have been on point and on plan.
I also purchased a little bit of activity motivation. The fitbit wireless personal trainer. (http://www.fitbit.com/) I have
been wanting to purchase something that helped me track my activity for a long time...I had researched the bodybugg and I wanted it, but grappled with the expense. (Almost $300.00, if you purchase the optional wrist display/heart monitor) In case I haven't mentioned it enough, we are broke, but I still had decided against my better judgement I was going to do it. Then Thursday afternoon I came home from work and there was a pop up message on my Facebook page from a friend who recently purchased the BodyMedia (which is similarly priced to the bugg and they both have subscription fees as well) that said "Have you seen the fitbit?"
"Why, no I haven't?" I replied out loud to myself (which I do a lot), but I have seen it now and it was reasonably priced at $99.00. Ladies you can wear it on your bra and it tracks your movement, acts as a pedometer, activity meter, and calorie burn tracker. It has a helpful interactive website that syncs the tracker to your information, your height and your weight to give you an accurate burn rate. It also does a fantastic job of making you aware of your calorie deficits which should predict over a week, how much weight you will lose. I love it so far, but I have only had it for less than 24 hours, so it's still new, but I will keep you apprised of it's value on my journey. I am going to try to write more later...a lot going on and this post is LONG enough!
I had another snow day on Thursday and well, have I mentioned that I am tired of them? I was on my way to work, packing the kids in the car to go to daycare and the sitter, respectively, when the phone rang. Yes, it was an all too familiar number. I picked up and gave the courtesy 'hello' just so that I could hear that robotic male voice on the other side of the line stating "The following message is from School Reach" (This man's voice angers me like an old boyfriend that once borrowed my car while I was working and then failed to pick me up for 5 hours after my shift) I let out a loud, "You have got to be KIDDING me.", but by that time he had 'handed' the phone off to his lady friend to give me another recorded message telling me there was no school."
Can't they alter that message? For once, can I pick up the phone and hear "We are truly sorry that for the safety of your child we must cancel classes today, we know that this is an inconvenience to your careers and ability to make $$ to feed said kids, but perhaps since you live in a rural area you can spend today teaching them to live off the land." (Cue the banjos) Who am I kidding? I went back in and took a LONG nap. I do want to acknowledge that normally, I have a backup plan, but unfortunately the sitter that watches my daughter had a death in the family this week, so it fell to me.
Things have been so busy this week, I have neglected checking in...but I have been on point and on plan.
I also purchased a little bit of activity motivation. The fitbit wireless personal trainer. (http://www.fitbit.com/) I have
been wanting to purchase something that helped me track my activity for a long time...I had researched the bodybugg and I wanted it, but grappled with the expense. (Almost $300.00, if you purchase the optional wrist display/heart monitor) In case I haven't mentioned it enough, we are broke, but I still had decided against my better judgement I was going to do it. Then Thursday afternoon I came home from work and there was a pop up message on my Facebook page from a friend who recently purchased the BodyMedia (which is similarly priced to the bugg and they both have subscription fees as well) that said "Have you seen the fitbit?""Why, no I haven't?" I replied out loud to myself (which I do a lot), but I have seen it now and it was reasonably priced at $99.00. Ladies you can wear it on your bra and it tracks your movement, acts as a pedometer, activity meter, and calorie burn tracker. It has a helpful interactive website that syncs the tracker to your information, your height and your weight to give you an accurate burn rate. It also does a fantastic job of making you aware of your calorie deficits which should predict over a week, how much weight you will lose. I love it so far, but I have only had it for less than 24 hours, so it's still new, but I will keep you apprised of it's value on my journey. I am going to try to write more later...a lot going on and this post is LONG enough!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Food Bullies or The Tale of the Sausage Roll with a Bacon Grease Kicker
*Grandma---this may not be your favorite blog*** WARNING IN ADVANCE
My thoughts have begun to meander back to the early beginnings of my blogging days. Back when I was hurt and overly sensitive to people's ignorance. Now random people's comments seemed to hurt less because I was as equally indignant.
Before:
Random Stranger, "Here comes Fatty McFattenstein, her mouth is open and her hands are empty. Tie down your children...she looks hungry!"
Me, (Runs Away Crying Hysterically)
After:
Random Stranger, "See Lady McLardass on the treadmill, that ProForm is never gonna be the same."
Me: "Listen crackhead...go talk about someone that is not in the gym busting her rump." {BEAMS WITH PRIDE}
I mean enough is enough, right...I am working my butt off here..(literally)
....then it happened. I came to work completely prepared for the week. I brought everything to work to ward off any possible miss-steps. A package of Multi-Grain Sandwich Thins, Smart Balance Peanut Butter, Different varieties of Yoplait Light (mmmm Cherry Cobbler).
I put everything away. I walk with a co-worker to the cafe to toast my bread and Bitchy McManbutt comes walking by and proclaims as loudly as possible "Did you know that there are lower calorie breads that are better for you and have less fat?"
To which I reply..."I like these." (lame comeback) Now this is not someone who I discuss my weight, or weight loss, or healthy eating with at all. Just some random, run of the mill, 'I eat rubbery chicken breast plain with a lettuce leaf and cucumber water' heifer that needs to mind her own business.
I sit back at my desk and I begin to schmear the PB on the bread. 1 tablespoon in total. We are talking about a total breakfast of 295 calories with the Yogurt. She decides to stop back by and lay into me about the peanut butter to which I reply "It's Smart Balance" she goes on and on about 16g of fat and blah blah blah..." I can only say I am only eating half a serving so it's 8g only 1.5 sat fat, and a great source of Omega 3 fatty acids." Then I look away.
People have said some really cruel stuff about me over the years...mostly they think I can't hear them, but I can.
This was worse than any of it. It was embarrassing in the workplace. It made me ashamed of something I shouldn't have been and it was just down right rude.
She has since apologized and informed me that she has struggled with her weight and she was just trying to be helpful. I have accepted her apology, but it still stings. My point is that I could be twice my size sitting at my desk eating a ROLL of Sausage and washing it down with a Bacon Grease kicker, but I'm not and if I were...it's my decision and it's STILL none of your business and to interject yourself into my life without an invitation is RUDE.
I will lose weight. I will be thin (or thinner) one day, but I am making a promise not to food judge or be a food bully. I've learned the hard way.
Until Later People!
My thoughts have begun to meander back to the early beginnings of my blogging days. Back when I was hurt and overly sensitive to people's ignorance. Now random people's comments seemed to hurt less because I was as equally indignant.
Before:
Random Stranger, "Here comes Fatty McFattenstein, her mouth is open and her hands are empty. Tie down your children...she looks hungry!"
Me, (Runs Away Crying Hysterically)
After:
Random Stranger, "See Lady McLardass on the treadmill, that ProForm is never gonna be the same."
Me: "Listen crackhead...go talk about someone that is not in the gym busting her rump." {BEAMS WITH PRIDE}
I mean enough is enough, right...I am working my butt off here..(literally)
....then it happened. I came to work completely prepared for the week. I brought everything to work to ward off any possible miss-steps. A package of Multi-Grain Sandwich Thins, Smart Balance Peanut Butter, Different varieties of Yoplait Light (mmmm Cherry Cobbler).
I put everything away. I walk with a co-worker to the cafe to toast my bread and Bitchy McManbutt comes walking by and proclaims as loudly as possible "Did you know that there are lower calorie breads that are better for you and have less fat?"
To which I reply..."I like these." (lame comeback) Now this is not someone who I discuss my weight, or weight loss, or healthy eating with at all. Just some random, run of the mill, 'I eat rubbery chicken breast plain with a lettuce leaf and cucumber water' heifer that needs to mind her own business.
I sit back at my desk and I begin to schmear the PB on the bread. 1 tablespoon in total. We are talking about a total breakfast of 295 calories with the Yogurt. She decides to stop back by and lay into me about the peanut butter to which I reply "It's Smart Balance" she goes on and on about 16g of fat and blah blah blah..." I can only say I am only eating half a serving so it's 8g only 1.5 sat fat, and a great source of Omega 3 fatty acids." Then I look away.
People have said some really cruel stuff about me over the years...mostly they think I can't hear them, but I can.
This was worse than any of it. It was embarrassing in the workplace. It made me ashamed of something I shouldn't have been and it was just down right rude.
She has since apologized and informed me that she has struggled with her weight and she was just trying to be helpful. I have accepted her apology, but it still stings. My point is that I could be twice my size sitting at my desk eating a ROLL of Sausage and washing it down with a Bacon Grease kicker, but I'm not and if I were...it's my decision and it's STILL none of your business and to interject yourself into my life without an invitation is RUDE.
I will lose weight. I will be thin (or thinner) one day, but I am making a promise not to food judge or be a food bully. I've learned the hard way.
Until Later People!
Riddle me this, Bloggers.
Today's weigh in...295. WTF? I have been on track both with activity and calories. The only thing different is that I have not been getting my water in this week and with all the snow and such, I have consumed copious amounts of Diet Dr. Pepper. Can this actually account for such a CRAZY increase when I know I have been good. For example, yesterdays total calorie intake was 1356.
I am off the Pepper for good, just looking for some response to whether or not this is plausible. My blood sugars have been elevated this last week as well, but my family has been sick for like the past month, so I just assumed that it was related.
I'll be back later. Thanks for any and all input.
I am off the Pepper for good, just looking for some response to whether or not this is plausible. My blood sugars have been elevated this last week as well, but my family has been sick for like the past month, so I just assumed that it was related.
I'll be back later. Thanks for any and all input.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Sunday Morning Breakfast
I don't know why I am sore from my run last night, but I am. This sucks because, of course, I am in for my 3.1 today. I am gearing myself up for it.
I woke up this morning and felt like falling into that same old, we have guests, make big breakfast. I have told you before about my LOVE of Breakfast. Then I asked myself, why do I think it is hospitable to clog the arteries of people who are visiting my home?
"Welcome...Your room is upstairs on the left. You will find towels and wash cloths in the linen closet as well as fresh soap. Please ignore the tornado of toys that will no doubt be littering your path. Please step carefully as my insurance has a high deductible. We serve breakfast promptly at 8 and it will consist of the normal daily allotment of calories for a 6 ft tall uber active male and you will reach your fat content for the day. See you then."
Those of you who think that eating a big breakfast starts you off for the day and allows you to feel full longer and throughout the day would be mistaken. A University of Munich Study, after following 380 people (280 were obese and 100 were of normal weight eating a variety of breakfasts from skipping to small to big meals in the morning) found that those who ate large breakfasts consumed on average 400 calories more than those who ate a smaller breakfast. The results...(insert drumroll) The people who ate the big breakfast consumed 400 or more calories per day than those who did not.
It did nothing to curb their appetite throughout the day at all.
What is a Big Breakfast to you, though? I asked a friend who told me that the felt that for comparison sake that a breakfast combo meal was a "normal" sized breakfast. Then I asked what about like a McDonald's Big Breakfast and I was told...."It's right there in the name, Christie...BIG Breakfast." Then using the terms I have learned over years of watching Top Chef I said "Aha!, but the Big Breakfast is just a regular breakfast combo meal 'deconstructed'."
This is crazy:
McDonald's Big Breakfast 578 calories
McDonald's Deluxe Breakfast 1197
Denny's American Slam 1028 calories and 87 grams of fat
Sunday Breakfast at my House *don't judge (2 eggs over easy, 4 strips of bacon, 2-3 pancakes) 1103 calories
Granted...I have not made one of these breakfasts in a LONG LONG time, but I have in the past and I was going to serve it to my guests this morning until I realized that there was NOOO way, I wasn't gonna eat it too!
Instead, not only was my guest not interested in breakfast...but I made my own version of a breakfast sandwich. Which was filling and came in at 266 calories
Christie's Scrumptious Breakfast Sandwich
1 Arnold's Sandwich Thin (toasted)
Chopped Onions
Chopped Green Pepper
2 Double G Biscuit Slices (Ham)
6 TBSP of Liquid Egg Whites
1 Squirt of Crisco Olive Oil Spray
Shredded Cheese (any type)
Spray Olive Oil in small skillet at low heat, turn up to medium add veggies and Ham...watch closely and flip ham often. Remove ham from skillet and add 6 tbsp of Liquid Egg Whites, fold egg whites in half and then half again. Compile Sandwich and lightly sprinkle shredded cheese over the top. YUMMEEE!
I woke up this morning and felt like falling into that same old, we have guests, make big breakfast. I have told you before about my LOVE of Breakfast. Then I asked myself, why do I think it is hospitable to clog the arteries of people who are visiting my home?
"Welcome...Your room is upstairs on the left. You will find towels and wash cloths in the linen closet as well as fresh soap. Please ignore the tornado of toys that will no doubt be littering your path. Please step carefully as my insurance has a high deductible. We serve breakfast promptly at 8 and it will consist of the normal daily allotment of calories for a 6 ft tall uber active male and you will reach your fat content for the day. See you then."
Those of you who think that eating a big breakfast starts you off for the day and allows you to feel full longer and throughout the day would be mistaken. A University of Munich Study, after following 380 people (280 were obese and 100 were of normal weight eating a variety of breakfasts from skipping to small to big meals in the morning) found that those who ate large breakfasts consumed on average 400 calories more than those who ate a smaller breakfast. The results...(insert drumroll) The people who ate the big breakfast consumed 400 or more calories per day than those who did not.
It did nothing to curb their appetite throughout the day at all.
What is a Big Breakfast to you, though? I asked a friend who told me that the felt that for comparison sake that a breakfast combo meal was a "normal" sized breakfast. Then I asked what about like a McDonald's Big Breakfast and I was told...."It's right there in the name, Christie...BIG Breakfast." Then using the terms I have learned over years of watching Top Chef I said "Aha!, but the Big Breakfast is just a regular breakfast combo meal 'deconstructed'."
This is crazy:
McDonald's Big Breakfast 578 calories
McDonald's Deluxe Breakfast 1197
Denny's American Slam 1028 calories and 87 grams of fat
Sunday Breakfast at my House *don't judge (2 eggs over easy, 4 strips of bacon, 2-3 pancakes) 1103 calories
Granted...I have not made one of these breakfasts in a LONG LONG time, but I have in the past and I was going to serve it to my guests this morning until I realized that there was NOOO way, I wasn't gonna eat it too!
Instead, not only was my guest not interested in breakfast...but I made my own version of a breakfast sandwich. Which was filling and came in at 266 calories
Christie's Scrumptious Breakfast Sandwich
1 Arnold's Sandwich Thin (toasted)
Chopped Onions
Chopped Green Pepper
2 Double G Biscuit Slices (Ham)
6 TBSP of Liquid Egg Whites
1 Squirt of Crisco Olive Oil Spray
Shredded Cheese (any type)
Spray Olive Oil in small skillet at low heat, turn up to medium add veggies and Ham...watch closely and flip ham often. Remove ham from skillet and add 6 tbsp of Liquid Egg Whites, fold egg whites in half and then half again. Compile Sandwich and lightly sprinkle shredded cheese over the top. YUMMEEE!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
My Running Partner
Today...I got to spend some real time with my husband's family. I love spending time with all of my nieces and nephews, but with the older one's it's a little different. We have known each other for a while now and we can have real conversations, I can both laugh at their jokes and tell them how inappropriate they are for family (all the while remembering them for work on Monday...ha ha ha) I have talked about Nathan before...he is almost 12 and well...he's 12. If you've EVER known a 12 year old boy, you know what I am talking about. He says inappropriate things, farts on or at you, then says excuse me with a smirk. They are both fascinating and annoying creatures.
I have told you before about how we have a history of deep conversation and he and I have a connection (despite the fact that he {along with my daughter}has been trying my patience, lately).
We were all talking about my running/walking the treadmill in preparation for the race and he said with super wide eyes "You have a treadmill? I wish I had a treadmill" I think I glossed over his statement with something like "Yeah...you think you want a treadmill" (Why did I say that?) Discussion lead to me trying to convince him that the treadmill sucked for some reason. (Why did I do that?) But, eventually it lead to him asking me if he could try it out. "Sure, we will go into the basement and bust it" and so we did.
He ran/walked a mile at my direction. I controlled the speed. He just kept going. I was his oversized Jillian Michaels. I said "Let me know if it's going to fast" He said "Could you slow it down?" Then I said "no" and kept him running at close to 4 miles an hour for the allotted time. I told him "You can handle this...you got this...15 more seconds." He did it. walked/ran the whole mile.
Then...my turn. He inspired me to do my mile for time tonight...even though I was planning on petering out. That's HORRIBLE, but true. If I didn't do it...I felt like I was letting him down in someway. Not practicing what I preach. So, tonight...I did it for him and I thank him for holding me accountable.
Tomorrow...3.1, bright and early.
125 days to Komen
I have told you before about how we have a history of deep conversation and he and I have a connection (despite the fact that he {along with my daughter}has been trying my patience, lately).
We were all talking about my running/walking the treadmill in preparation for the race and he said with super wide eyes "You have a treadmill? I wish I had a treadmill" I think I glossed over his statement with something like "Yeah...you think you want a treadmill" (Why did I say that?) Discussion lead to me trying to convince him that the treadmill sucked for some reason. (Why did I do that?) But, eventually it lead to him asking me if he could try it out. "Sure, we will go into the basement and bust it" and so we did.
He ran/walked a mile at my direction. I controlled the speed. He just kept going. I was his oversized Jillian Michaels. I said "Let me know if it's going to fast" He said "Could you slow it down?" Then I said "no" and kept him running at close to 4 miles an hour for the allotted time. I told him "You can handle this...you got this...15 more seconds." He did it. walked/ran the whole mile.
Then...my turn. He inspired me to do my mile for time tonight...even though I was planning on petering out. That's HORRIBLE, but true. If I didn't do it...I felt like I was letting him down in someway. Not practicing what I preach. So, tonight...I did it for him and I thank him for holding me accountable.
Tomorrow...3.1, bright and early.
125 days to Komen
Are You Kidding Me With This?
For realz, yo! This snow thing is waaay out of control. This morning was supposed to be my 3.1 run, but it got cancelled due to a family function and the fact that I had to shovel my driveway for the safety of the people that we love. 4-5 inches on top of what we already have and, you guessed it!!!! Snow again tomorrow and Monday. Enough is Enough. I at least have to get a mile in today, even if I do it after everyone leaves or heck while everyone is here. I really don't care anymore, plus they all know I am doing it anyway. What's the worse that could happen? An audience? It might be good to start small, anyway...lol! Wouldn't that be funny? I could pop popcorn set up chairs and they could just squirt my water in my mouth instead of me fumbling with my bottle. Ahhh a running life of privilege.....
Oh well...I will get it done this weekend despite the guarantee of a "wintry mix" tomorrow and more snow on Monday. I love how they call it a wintry mix like it's a pancake topping or something. Pancake topping....lol..of course I went straight to FOOD. LOL I have got to get out of this house. I need to stay focused on my goals by not having to focus on them 24/7. I need to work and be productive so that this can stay something for me and not overwhelm or become me. On another snow related note...see the amount of snow from my back door? There is about a two - three inch step down from there onto my deck. I will check in again after the run. I probably need to de-stress anyway...my daughter brought me the following picture and told me that it was me...so my attitude probably needs to be checked..lol
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Blizzards + Boredom = DANG-erous
So...we are just in the beginning stages of a severe mid-western snowstorm. This is day two of no work. (Yesterday was icy, I work almost an hour away from home, insert excuse here) This is ALL ICE, by the way!
One day in and I can tell you that somehow my home is a HOTBED of dietary danger. How did that happen? I am a very careful shopper, especially since I am eating healthy, but the fact of the matter is that I have little children who have a hard time stomaching brussel sprouts. ;) They are actually very good vegetable eaters, but they are kids...so while it is my job to teach them to eat healthy. I think it is also my job to teach them the proper way to incorporate foods they like into their diet. When it comes to "fun foods" I always try to buy the healthiest option (reduced sugar jellies, all natural peanut butter, Sun Chips, wheat thins , etc.)....However despite my shopping on Saturday, the hubby had to do his prep for the "SNOWMAGAEDDON 2011" which of course involved, snack cakes, pizza rolls, chips, TWO MONSTER SIZE ROLLS of cookies. He has a habit of binge eating that would rival the most severe bulimic (this is destined to bite him in the butt, but has yet to have an effect).
Normally, these items are not issues for me. I am not a huge craving person, but I am a huge person, which had to come from somewhere, right? LAZINESS, BOREDOM, and EATING MY FEELINGS.. Right now...I am feeling Bored and Lazy, but otherwise in a good emotional place. I have the treadmill and I need to do my mile today...mainly because I convinced myself not to do it last night. Other than that, though...my basement is no Biggest Loser Ranch and I can not keep myself down there working out all day......waaaaaah!
I guess enough crying...I did take steps to avoid the issue. I woke up early and made a low fat turkey chili so I can definitely avoid pizza rolls. I also instituted an at home eating time schedule...maybe I can find a project to get my mind off boredom eating...wow duh...a project would mean...not bored...too much thinking this morning. I will be back later today for sure, I will check in. OH...WEIGH IN! This morning 291...WTH??? Move on.
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